Yesterday I was reading Women's Day magazine (yes, I realize this makes me old. Shut it), and they had a great little article about being thankful. Several people had written thank you letters to various people in their lives, mostly for things that would largely go unnoticed. One was to a kindergarten teacher that had told them about the magic of Santa claus. Another was to a father that had sat with a little girl in the hospital during all her severe asthma attacks. These were all things that most of us would do, but probably would never get a thank you for.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, for the next month (starting November 1st), I'm going to try to write at least 2 of these letters a week, maybe more. I challenge all of you blog readers to do the same, even if its just one letter. This is a great time to sit down and really think about the people that have impacted our lives, big and small. So I ask you, my dear, sweet readers. What are you thankful for?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
When did we grow up?
Today I attended a baby shower for a friend from high school. While I was sitting there, playing with my baby girl, talking to another friend from this same group that is pregnant, it hit me: we are growing up. Of this group of six girls, 5 are married, 2 have kids, 2 are having kids in the next 6 or 7 weeks, and I wouldn't be surprised if the other one is pregnant within the next year. This is just insane to me. I can remember the night we graduated from high school, all of us crammed into one girls apartment, drinking beer...I mean ginger ale.
To be honest, I keep going through all of these life changing events, convinced that one of these days I'll feel like a real adult. On the day of my college graduation, I felt like I was back in middle school, sitting the the school gym wearing my orange shirt and black skirt (yes, orange!), waiting for my "promotion" to high school. A year and a half after graduation, I got married. I sat in that chair at the salon, feeling like a 16 year old going to prom. I thought for sure having a baby would make me feel grown up. Then my husband and I built a house. We are homeowners. Now I'm definitely an adult, right? Nope, still feeling like a 16 year old.
I don't think I'll ever truely feel like a "grown up". The older I get, the less I think this is a bad thing. Maybe there is something to that teenage feeling of uncertainty and anxiety that keeps me on my toes a little more. Maybe when my children are in their teenage years, I'll remember what it was like a little better. Hopefully, it will keep me from being that adult that everyone hates, even the other adults. The one who is too self-assured, who thinks they are too wise, that they've lived so many more years than the rest of us. Please God, let me avoid that.
To be honest, I keep going through all of these life changing events, convinced that one of these days I'll feel like a real adult. On the day of my college graduation, I felt like I was back in middle school, sitting the the school gym wearing my orange shirt and black skirt (yes, orange!), waiting for my "promotion" to high school. A year and a half after graduation, I got married. I sat in that chair at the salon, feeling like a 16 year old going to prom. I thought for sure having a baby would make me feel grown up. Then my husband and I built a house. We are homeowners. Now I'm definitely an adult, right? Nope, still feeling like a 16 year old.
I don't think I'll ever truely feel like a "grown up". The older I get, the less I think this is a bad thing. Maybe there is something to that teenage feeling of uncertainty and anxiety that keeps me on my toes a little more. Maybe when my children are in their teenage years, I'll remember what it was like a little better. Hopefully, it will keep me from being that adult that everyone hates, even the other adults. The one who is too self-assured, who thinks they are too wise, that they've lived so many more years than the rest of us. Please God, let me avoid that.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Seven months is not that long...
Seven months ago was our first night with Annelise in our lives. Its crazy to think that in seven short months she has changed so much. On March 22nd, she was 20 inches long and weighed in at 7 pounds 6 ounces. She was hooked up to a machine monitoring her breathing and had to have a feeding tube. She was so helpless and small.
Now, she is almost 29 inches long and weighs in at almost 17 pounds. She rolls over and sits up. She's working hard at moving in some way or another, but can't quite get the crawling thing down pat. She's a major Daddy's girl. She can be crabby and screaming and as soon as he walks in the room, she lights up like a Christmas tree.
I can't believe the time is going by so quickly. I feel like I'm going to blink and she'll be 18!
Now, she is almost 29 inches long and weighs in at almost 17 pounds. She rolls over and sits up. She's working hard at moving in some way or another, but can't quite get the crawling thing down pat. She's a major Daddy's girl. She can be crabby and screaming and as soon as he walks in the room, she lights up like a Christmas tree.
I can't believe the time is going by so quickly. I feel like I'm going to blink and she'll be 18!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Reading the classics
Despite the fact that my undergraduate degree is in English with an emphasis on literature, it seems that there are a lot of "classic" novels I haven't read. Don't get me wrong, I've read a lot of great books, but it seems that I've missed out on something.
Because of this, I decided that I'd undertake a little project. I found a couple of lists along the lines of "100 greatest novels" etc. I'm going to read as many books on these lists as I can. I'll make up a compilation list from this list from the Cincinnati library, this list from Time magazine, and this list from Random House publishers.
This is really a lot of books, so it will probably take me awhile. Anyone want to play along?
Because of this, I decided that I'd undertake a little project. I found a couple of lists along the lines of "100 greatest novels" etc. I'm going to read as many books on these lists as I can. I'll make up a compilation list from this list from the Cincinnati library, this list from Time magazine, and this list from Random House publishers.
This is really a lot of books, so it will probably take me awhile. Anyone want to play along?
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Baby Fever
Ok, I have a confession to make here. I have MAJOR baby fever.
I know what you're thinking. "But Jess, you have a baby already." I know that. Trust me, when I'm up at 3:30 trying to get her to sleep I'm thinking "What the f*ck are you thinking? Another baby?".
I really do want another baby though. Clearly I have forgotton several things, including how much a threw up when I was pregnant, and how horribly exhausted I was those first 3 months of having AK. But I miss that newborn stage. They are so cuddly and snuggle-able. AK hardly ever wants to be cuddled or snuggled anymore. She's a baby on the move. Or a baby attempting to move, depending on how you look at it.
Really though, I love being a mom, and I can't wait to have another one.
I know what you're thinking. "But Jess, you have a baby already." I know that. Trust me, when I'm up at 3:30 trying to get her to sleep I'm thinking "What the f*ck are you thinking? Another baby?".
I really do want another baby though. Clearly I have forgotton several things, including how much a threw up when I was pregnant, and how horribly exhausted I was those first 3 months of having AK. But I miss that newborn stage. They are so cuddly and snuggle-able. AK hardly ever wants to be cuddled or snuggled anymore. She's a baby on the move. Or a baby attempting to move, depending on how you look at it.
Really though, I love being a mom, and I can't wait to have another one.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Depression
I have to blog about this because it makes me very very happy.
I went of my anti-depressants about 2 weeks ago. Not many people know this, but about 6 weeks after Annelise was born I was diagnosed with Post-partum Depression. Without getting into a lot of detail, those were very, very dark days for me. Not many people knew how I was feeling.
I guess maybe I was a little ashamed. When I had Annelise, I knew it was supposed to be this joyous and beautiful time in my life. A lot of it was, and I knew I had a lot to be grateful for. As the weeks went on, those feelings of joy seemed to be replaced by anger and despair. Everyday I was a little angrier than before. This was not the typical "baby blues" Luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband that knew something wasn't right. He basically sat me down and told me that he loved me and supported me, but I needed to get some help. I called my OB and went on meds for depression. Within days, I felt like a new woman.
I suppose a lot of people think this is far too personal for a blog entry. For me, its almost cathartic. Getting rid of the meds was both nervewracking and freeing. When I realized that I could deal with a crying baby without wanting to run away from home, it was a small triumph for me.
To all the readers of my blog that may want to be pregnant someday, take a lesson from me. Baby blues should not last weeks upon weeks, it should last 10-14 days tops (according to my OB). If you think something is wrong, call your doctor. Insist that your husband be honest with you about how you are behaving. After 9 months of walking on eggshells because of pregnancy hormones, some men are a little reluctant to do this. Please sit down with your significant other and let him know what PPD is, what the signs are, and that above all, he needs to help you get help. Yes, the first few months of motherhood are hard. They are emotional, physically exhausting, mentally exhausting, confusing and frustrating. But they should also be full of love and joy at the miracle that has come into your life.
I went of my anti-depressants about 2 weeks ago. Not many people know this, but about 6 weeks after Annelise was born I was diagnosed with Post-partum Depression. Without getting into a lot of detail, those were very, very dark days for me. Not many people knew how I was feeling.
I guess maybe I was a little ashamed. When I had Annelise, I knew it was supposed to be this joyous and beautiful time in my life. A lot of it was, and I knew I had a lot to be grateful for. As the weeks went on, those feelings of joy seemed to be replaced by anger and despair. Everyday I was a little angrier than before. This was not the typical "baby blues" Luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband that knew something wasn't right. He basically sat me down and told me that he loved me and supported me, but I needed to get some help. I called my OB and went on meds for depression. Within days, I felt like a new woman.
I suppose a lot of people think this is far too personal for a blog entry. For me, its almost cathartic. Getting rid of the meds was both nervewracking and freeing. When I realized that I could deal with a crying baby without wanting to run away from home, it was a small triumph for me.
To all the readers of my blog that may want to be pregnant someday, take a lesson from me. Baby blues should not last weeks upon weeks, it should last 10-14 days tops (according to my OB). If you think something is wrong, call your doctor. Insist that your husband be honest with you about how you are behaving. After 9 months of walking on eggshells because of pregnancy hormones, some men are a little reluctant to do this. Please sit down with your significant other and let him know what PPD is, what the signs are, and that above all, he needs to help you get help. Yes, the first few months of motherhood are hard. They are emotional, physically exhausting, mentally exhausting, confusing and frustrating. But they should also be full of love and joy at the miracle that has come into your life.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
I've been tagged
Thanks to Danica, I have been tagged. So, here goes..
THE RULES:
1. Post these rules before you give you the facts.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) someone and list their name (linking to their page).
4. Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged!
8 random things about Jess
1. While I was pregnant with my daughter, I had a dream that my mom (who is deceased) came to me holding a baby girl. I did not know yet what I was having.
2. My mom had a similar dream when she was pregnant with me, except my great grandma was holding me.
3. I hum when I eat things with a spoon. This includes cereal, yogurt soup and ice cream.
4. I LOVE to watch Olympic swimming. I'm glued to the TV the entire time the summer Olympics are on.
5. When I was a kid, we spent every summer at our cottage on the lake up north. My dad still has a cottage on that same lake and I can't wait to spend weekends there with AK.
6. I think baby giggles are the best sound in the whole world
7. I have eaten pig brains. Trust me, you don't want to try them
8. I wish I had an eye for photography. I want to be able to take amazing photos, I'm just not that good at it.
There you go. Now I tag Steph, Sarah and Jessica
THE RULES:
1. Post these rules before you give you the facts.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) someone and list their name (linking to their page).
4. Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged!
8 random things about Jess
1. While I was pregnant with my daughter, I had a dream that my mom (who is deceased) came to me holding a baby girl. I did not know yet what I was having.
2. My mom had a similar dream when she was pregnant with me, except my great grandma was holding me.
3. I hum when I eat things with a spoon. This includes cereal, yogurt soup and ice cream.
4. I LOVE to watch Olympic swimming. I'm glued to the TV the entire time the summer Olympics are on.
5. When I was a kid, we spent every summer at our cottage on the lake up north. My dad still has a cottage on that same lake and I can't wait to spend weekends there with AK.
6. I think baby giggles are the best sound in the whole world
7. I have eaten pig brains. Trust me, you don't want to try them
8. I wish I had an eye for photography. I want to be able to take amazing photos, I'm just not that good at it.
There you go. Now I tag Steph, Sarah and Jessica
Monday, October 1, 2007
Unemployed
Not me, some guy that used to work for us. By us, I mean my dad, but I'm the office manager there, so I consider it a "we" kind of effort.
This guy started for us as a mason laborer. Not an easy job. It requires a lot of hard physical labor. As long as you show up everyday and work, you're pretty much considered a top employee. Well, this guy decided that he didn't want to work for us anymore, so one morning at break, he went to take a pee and never came back. He didn't even call until he decided he wanted his paycheck. Actually, his MOTHER called me. We had quite the little chat (ahem, arguement) about why she would not be coming in to get his paycheck. Guess how old this guy is? No, not 18...29!
Now, he decided that he wants some unemployment. There is the slight problem, though, that you can't get unemployment if you quit. How does he solve this problem? He tells unemployment we fired him. Ok, genius, do you not think that unemployment checks with the employers to make sure you really did get fired? So now I have a boatload of extra paperwork because this dumbass wants to sit around and get pain to do nothing. Oye.
This guy started for us as a mason laborer. Not an easy job. It requires a lot of hard physical labor. As long as you show up everyday and work, you're pretty much considered a top employee. Well, this guy decided that he didn't want to work for us anymore, so one morning at break, he went to take a pee and never came back. He didn't even call until he decided he wanted his paycheck. Actually, his MOTHER called me. We had quite the little chat (ahem, arguement) about why she would not be coming in to get his paycheck. Guess how old this guy is? No, not 18...29!
Now, he decided that he wants some unemployment. There is the slight problem, though, that you can't get unemployment if you quit. How does he solve this problem? He tells unemployment we fired him. Ok, genius, do you not think that unemployment checks with the employers to make sure you really did get fired? So now I have a boatload of extra paperwork because this dumbass wants to sit around and get pain to do nothing. Oye.
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