I have to blog about this because it makes me very very happy.
I went of my anti-depressants about 2 weeks ago. Not many people know this, but about 6 weeks after Annelise was born I was diagnosed with Post-partum Depression. Without getting into a lot of detail, those were very, very dark days for me. Not many people knew how I was feeling.
I guess maybe I was a little ashamed. When I had Annelise, I knew it was supposed to be this joyous and beautiful time in my life. A lot of it was, and I knew I had a lot to be grateful for. As the weeks went on, those feelings of joy seemed to be replaced by anger and despair. Everyday I was a little angrier than before. This was not the typical "baby blues" Luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband that knew something wasn't right. He basically sat me down and told me that he loved me and supported me, but I needed to get some help. I called my OB and went on meds for depression. Within days, I felt like a new woman.
I suppose a lot of people think this is far too personal for a blog entry. For me, its almost cathartic. Getting rid of the meds was both nervewracking and freeing. When I realized that I could deal with a crying baby without wanting to run away from home, it was a small triumph for me.
To all the readers of my blog that may want to be pregnant someday, take a lesson from me. Baby blues should not last weeks upon weeks, it should last 10-14 days tops (according to my OB). If you think something is wrong, call your doctor. Insist that your husband be honest with you about how you are behaving. After 9 months of walking on eggshells because of pregnancy hormones, some men are a little reluctant to do this. Please sit down with your significant other and let him know what PPD is, what the signs are, and that above all, he needs to help you get help. Yes, the first few months of motherhood are hard. They are emotional, physically exhausting, mentally exhausting, confusing and frustrating. But they should also be full of love and joy at the miracle that has come into your life.