Today I attended a baby shower for a friend from high school. While I was sitting there, playing with my baby girl, talking to another friend from this same group that is pregnant, it hit me: we are growing up. Of this group of six girls, 5 are married, 2 have kids, 2 are having kids in the next 6 or 7 weeks, and I wouldn't be surprised if the other one is pregnant within the next year. This is just insane to me. I can remember the night we graduated from high school, all of us crammed into one girls apartment, drinking beer...I mean ginger ale.
To be honest, I keep going through all of these life changing events, convinced that one of these days I'll feel like a real adult. On the day of my college graduation, I felt like I was back in middle school, sitting the the school gym wearing my orange shirt and black skirt (yes, orange!), waiting for my "promotion" to high school. A year and a half after graduation, I got married. I sat in that chair at the salon, feeling like a 16 year old going to prom. I thought for sure having a baby would make me feel grown up. Then my husband and I built a house. We are homeowners. Now I'm definitely an adult, right? Nope, still feeling like a 16 year old.
I don't think I'll ever truely feel like a "grown up". The older I get, the less I think this is a bad thing. Maybe there is something to that teenage feeling of uncertainty and anxiety that keeps me on my toes a little more. Maybe when my children are in their teenage years, I'll remember what it was like a little better. Hopefully, it will keep me from being that adult that everyone hates, even the other adults. The one who is too self-assured, who thinks they are too wise, that they've lived so many more years than the rest of us. Please God, let me avoid that.